you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So vagazzling was a success
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
