I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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