ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
