She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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