Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
