I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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