I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
