I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
