Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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