I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
