Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We need to get me chipped asap
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize