just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
