very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
