you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
