I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
