I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
