I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
