jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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