WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize