There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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