did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
