Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He shit in the fireplace
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize