words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
