I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
