I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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