My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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