Christians are straight up FREAKS
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
