I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
