I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
