for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
