i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
