If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I have post one night stand depression
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