she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
