this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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