remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
