this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
