i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
