worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
