At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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