dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was confusing and full of hummus
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
