i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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