The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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