if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need to align my fucking chakras
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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