No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
