OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
