well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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