Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize