You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
