All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
