Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
