doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize