no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
