We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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