Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
