having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
