Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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