Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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