He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
