I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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