i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
